Use them to change, not intensify, meaning
Beware adverbs, counsels The Poynter Institute’s Roy Peter Clark.
Too often, they dilute the meaning of the verb or repeat it: “The building was completely destroyed.”
Instead, of using adverbs to intensify meaning, Clark suggests, use them to change meaning.
“‘Killing Me Softly’?” he writes. “Good adverb. “‘Killing Me Fiercely’? Bad adverb.”
Good modifiers:
Same thing works with adjectives. Use them to change, not intensify, meaning:
“Josef studied it, feeling as he sailed toward freedom as if he weighed nothing at all, as if every precious burden had been lifted from him.”
— Michael Chabon, author, in The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay
“The combination of a hard-won cynicism, low overhead, an unstintingly shoddy product line, and the American boy’s unassuageable hunger for midget radios, X-ray spectacles, and joy buzzers had enabled Anapol not only to survive the Depression but to keep his two daughters in private school …”
— Michael Chabon, author, in The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay
“After the coffee he recrossed the room and remained standing, stooped over the keyboard in his overcoat, while he played with both hands by the exhausted afternoon light the notes as he had written them.”
— Ian McEwan, author, in Amsterdam
‘Gently ransacked’
So, in a recent writing contest, I asked you to show us how it’s done. Two of you took me up on the challenge.
Barbara Scanlan, principal of Scanlan Creative, described Iditarod sled dog teams facing snowless conditions on the Alaska Range:
“The dogs ran along at record speeds, while the sleds, often with brakes and runners worn out, bounced helplessly behind them.”
And Amy Bridges, manager of sales proposals and RFP support for Sabre Travel Network, submitted this entry:
“The conscientious copy editor gently ransacked her confidence with every ‘Track Changes’ slash and smash.”
Barbara, your submission is beautiful. But I can’t resist your topic, Amy. Congratulations, and watch your mailbox for Words on Words, a favorite tome by my late, great copyediting teacher, John Bremner.
And thank you both for playing.
How can you use adverbs to change, not intensify, meaning?
___
Source: Roy Peter Clark, Writing Tools: 50 Essential Strategies for Every Writer, Little, Brown and Company (September 1, 2006)
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