Choose benefits, news and feature leads
Are you still using the fact pack — cramming who, what, when, where, why and how into the first paragraph of your news release? Are you still married to the dated “XYZ Company today announced …” approach?
These conventional formulas to release leads are formulaic, old-fashioned and — let’s face it — dull. Both approaches slow the story down, appear unsophisticated and are too stereotypical to stand out from the competition.
Instead, choose from these three more effective approaches.
1. Benefits leads
Launching a new product or service? Focus on how it solves customer problems instead of on the product or service itself with this model, which I developed for my clients:
Here’s how it looks in action:
2. News leads
Do you have news to report? Instead of covering the five W’s and the H, appeal to reader interest by leading with the two most interesting elements to readers:
- What — as in “What happened?”
- Why — as in “Why should I care?”
Here’s how it works:
3. Feature leads
Feature leads show instead of tell. They attract readers by illustrating your key message instead of just stating it. Feature lead approaches include:
Description. This lead helped win support for the nation’s first statewide menu labeling law, in a Silver Anvil Award-winning campaign by the California Center for Public Health Advocacy:
Startling statistics, like this lead from a Silver Anvil Award-winning campaign by Visa:
Compression of details, as in this lead for an H&R Block survey story by Fleishman Hillard’s John Armato:
Other feature lead approaches include anecdote, analogy, wordplay, concrete details, human interest and examples.
Surprise and delight your readers.
Whichever approach you use, write a lead that appeals to your readers’ self interest or that makes your story interesting.
Can’t do that with a fact pack.
Hook readers with great leads
You’re not still packing all of the Ws into the first paragraph, are you? Cranking out “XYZ Company today announced …” leads? If so, your News Writing 101 class called and wants its leads back!
To win today’s fierce competition for your readers’ attention, you need more sophisticated, nuanced leads — not the approaches you learned when you were 19.
Learn how to hook readers with great leads at our lead-writing workshop.
Great ways to shake up PRs.
However, Even if it’s not the “real” published example, I suggest a better version for the one below: Was asleep by “Los Angeles”. (breakfast entrees aren’t fast food?)
“In a Capitol room thick with the smell of fast food and breakfast entrees, proponents of Senate Bill 120 (Padilla-D Los Angeles), the proposed nutrition menu labeling law, dramatically illustrated why this legislation needs to be signed by the Governor.”
In a Sacramento Capitol room, the aromas of fast food entrees permeated the air, sensually illustrating why the Nutrition Menu Labeling law needs to be signed by Governor Schwarzenegger.